As the years went on though, I realized that I had seen that which could not be unseen. The movie was just so in-your-face, screaming for attention, that I couldn't let go. Puzzling, and confusing.... well-made, charming at first... yet ever so horrible.... it just kept ringing through my mind. I have to get it out. I'm putting it down here.
This movie... has turned me into an apologist. I take back every thing I ever, ever said about Twilight.
I'm worried about describing the movie, it's old and I want it to stay forgotten. But there's only like three people that read my LJ, so it probably won't matter. So reading on is totally optional.
This youtube link is the trailer.
And here's the plot.
That rant on this LJ account, I apologize for it. I don't think it'll make that much sense, anyway.
Just an extra note: even though I never went off at Transformers, I rescind my previous hatred of that too. And The Room? No wait, I love The Room. You stay cool, Tommy Wiseau, you creepy-ass SOB.
Ok, so I wanted to watch this movie again, so that I could accurately recapture the awfulness and to really make sure that it was real.
...And for the life of me I still can't tell if the movie is trying to be Idiocracy-type funny or Borat-type funny. Either the basic idea is "One sane guy in a sea of fools" or "Sensational mishandling of a hot-topic", respectively. I guess somewhere in-between.
First let me just tell you that How to Kill your Wife doesn't actually have a murder in it. So right out the bat it doesn't stick to the premise advertised in the title of the movie. I was planning to compare it to Horrible Bosses that came out last year, but there's no murder or attempted murder, I guess I won't...
That's just a little nitpick, anyway. More importantly, as hateful as it is to women, it doesn't even function well as a comedy. This movie tries to mix Domestic Comedy with a wish fulfillment story. The main character has to constantly straddle this line between escapist hero and then also some sort of everyman who is only a victim of unfortunate circumstances.
And I can think of ways to make fun of women. It's so easy. How about the insane amount of time and money dedicated to appearances? Or, the insane attention to frivolous details? Intense cattiness and passive aggressive behavior towards other women? How many of them buy hook-line-and-sinker into celebrity-madness, wedding-fever, and romance movies? How about the way they swoon over some hot asshole? I'm a woman and I know that this movie could write itself.
So what are the gags to show us the curse of married life and being around a woman?
- He lost his rather queer (in both senses of the word) manservant, who resigned because he will only work for a single bachelor.
- Her cooking has gotten him fat.
- She stays up in bed watching TV while he tries to sleep.
- She has added garish decorations to the penthouse.
- She coerced him to change a light bulb and he got shocked by accident.
- Her little yorkshire terrier scampered under his feet and made him trip and spill a bowl of soup onto his friend.
- She stopped looking hot while she was sleeping. When he first saw her after their one-night-stand-turned-marriage she was naked and sexy. Now she goes to bed in a thick purple robe and hair curlers. Oh the disappointment.
Why not have a unique and interesting character who has his individuality taken away from him by comforming to society, and then he has to assert himself by choking a bitch?